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"Some good news for the economy. President went on a month-long vacation." ?Jay Leno

"The federal government announced today that the recession ended back in November of 2001. It ended two years ago! Be sure to pass that on to all your unemployed friends. So you know what that means? The past twenty months of job layoffs, corporate bankruptcies and declining stocks, those were the good times. We should have been living it up." ?Jay Leno

"Yesterday Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan said he would be willing to serve another term. Greenspan said, 'Where else would I get a job in this economy?'" ?Conan O'Brien

"Democrats were quick to point out that President 's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'" ?Craig Kilborn

"President unveiled his new economic stimulus plan this week. It was reported that if the plan passes, the president himself would save $44,000 in taxes, Dick Cheney would save $327,000, and you could afford to take the whole family down to Burger King to pick up job applications." ?Tina Fey, on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"President 's economic plan will create 2.5 million new jobs. The bad news, they are all for Iraqi soldiers." ?Craig Kilborn

"According to a new study, bad economic times can actually be good for you because people tend to exercise more and eat better. This is not a recession, this is the President?s Health Care Plan." ?Jay Leno

"The big story here tonight comes from Washington, D.C. where President announced his new economic plans. The centerpiece was a proposed repeal of the dividends tax on stocks, a boon that could be worth millions of dollars to average Americans. Well, average stock owning Americans. Technically, Americans who own a significant amount of shares in dividend dealing companies. Well, rich people, that's what I'm trying to say. They're going to do really well with this." ?Jon Stewart

"Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neal has resigned. He didn't want to resign, but there wasn't any money left in the treasury so he's got nothing to do." ?Jay Leno

" Presidents advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a needed jolt. If that doesn't work, North Korea has to go." ?Jon Stewart

"Al Gore says President?s economic plan has zero chance of working. Now, this raises on important question: President has an economic plan?" ?David Letterman

"President said today that it is our job to vote. That's what he called it, a job. And considering how the way economy is going, that may be the only job we have." ?Jay Leno

"The same week the administration slashed pay raises for all federal workers, they announced they are going to provide bonuses to political appointees who do a good job. You know, that guy who cut everyone else's pay, he gets the bonus." ?Jay Leno

"The Stock Market was down today. Two major businesses declared bankruptcy, consumer spending is at an all time low ? in other words, president is back on the job." ?Jay Leno

"President hosted something called the President's Economic Forum down in Waco, Texas today. Waco. Apparently Jonestown and Guyana were booked up. When I think of government policy that works, Waco is the place to go. He invited members of small business to the summit. He was going to invite big business, but they're all in jail." ?Jay Leno

"President told the attendees (at his economic forum) that he wants to simplify the numbers on Wall Street so that people can understand what they are looking at. Simplify the numbers? We are already looking at single digits!" ?Jay Leno

"In a speech yesterday in Milwaukee, President vowed to do whatever it takes to keep the economy strong. In fact he said that if he needs to, he will take vacation for another three months." ?Jay Leno

"There's now speculation in Washington that President is now planning to increase the economic sanctions on Iraq. And let me tell you if they are half as tough as the economic sanctions he has imposed on this country, they are screwed." ?Jay Leno

"President is leaving the White House for a vacation. He's taking a month off. Yeah, take a break, you deserve it. But aides say that while on vacation, will continue to make two or three speeches a week to make sure that the market keeps crashing." ?Jay Leno

"Boy, another bad day on Wall Street. Things are getting ugly. Dow Jones is starting to look more like Paula Jones." ?Jay Leno

"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are now? Wall Street is now being called Wal-Mart Street." ?Jay Leno

"The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market." ?Jay Leno

"The economy is in big trouble. Yesterday in a big speech, President said the economy was still getting over the hangover from the 90's. And then, the president admitted he was still getting over his hangover from the 80's." ?Conan O'Brien

Source: http://dieposazakh.blogspot.com/2011/07/baby-shower-cakes-ideas.html

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